


Definition of Love

by MsViral



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Drunk Sex, F/M, Internal Conflict, Love Confessions, Masturbation in Shower, Pining, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 18:49:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10519692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsViral/pseuds/MsViral
Summary: Vorona was book smart. But books could only tell her so much, some things are better learned first-hand.~~~~A short two-parter story featuring Shizuo and Vorona.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So if you followed me over from FF.net, this is just copied and pasted, nothing new added! If you haven't read this before at all... I hope you enjoy.
> 
> ~~~~
> 
> LOVE  
> ləv/
> 
> noun  
> 1.) an intense feeling of deep affection.  
> 2.) a person or thing that one loves.  
> synonyms:  
> Beloved, loved one, love of one's life, dear, dearest, dear one, darling, sweetheart, sweet, angel, honey
> 
> verb  
> 1.) feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).  
> synonyms:  
> care very much for, feel deep affection for, hold very dear, adore, think the world of, be devoted to, dote on, idolize, worship

This situation, like most in her life, had started with something quite small, trivial, and mundane, only to then grow in size, like snow rolling down a mountain, into something far bigger than she had ever dreamed. A simple kind act was all it took.

It all started with a can of coffee.

Vorona had thought, in the moment, that he did not recognize her from their previous encounter, and to a degree, she had been correct. While he had admitted to her, much later, that he had held some suspicions and also pointed out that she had the same biker suit, at the moment he had offered her the can of coffee as a simple, kind act of a mentor to a student, one collegue to another, she had been taken by surprise. Not so much by the act itself, but by the man himself.

She was drawn in, desperate to unravel the myserty of Shizuo Heiwajima.

His inhuman strength was the greatest draw. How had he become so powerful? In conversation with him during a break in work, he alludes to this strength as a curse. Gives praise to her for her own strength, saying that he admires her because it was something she had worked hard to gain, whereas his own was inheirant, and he possessed no actual skill.

The praise was not unusual, in itself, except that it came from the one person she herself could not overpower or defeat. This further placed Shizuo in mystery, and she was drawn further in.

Over the course of her time working beside him, her desire to kill him lessened, and she found herself enjoying the simple routine they had developed. They would meet up with Tom at the office, receive their list of clients who owed, and away they went. Tom would always lead, with the two blondes following right behind like shadows. In the early days when she began, she made an effort to show off her impressive arsenal of combative skills, eagar to show that though she did not make much of an impression in appearance, she more than made up for it in action. In the days that followed, as she got to know both men, she didn't feel the need as often, and would allow for Shizuo's help on occation.

Her curiousity about Shizuo, however, never diminished. In fact, she felt it grow.

Her run-in with Sloan that day, when he says to her that life in the city has made her soft, upsets her. Who was he to question her strength? Her edges had not softened. But it wasn't until much later, after betraying Shizuo and stealing the dullahan's head, that she begins to think that maybe he hadn't been too far off the mark.

She had enjoyed her time in Ikebukuro as a debt collector. She had enjoyed the steady, growing friendship between her, Shizuo, and Tom. This was a life she had never experienced, feelings she had not known she possessed were pressing forward, influencing her.

And after chasing down Shizuo, finding him ready and willing to kill Izaya, she didn't even question her involvement.

“Vorona?”

“You are human, Shizuo. This is job for beast, not you.”

“Don't do it. Killing him ain't going to do no good for you.”

“Do not worry for me, since child have always loved to kill. I am beast.”

She never got the chance to fire her gun. And maybe that had been for the best. 

Her return home had not been pleasant, and though she was able to settle things with her father, she no longer felt comfortable there. The library, with it's shelves of books, filled with knowledge, only reminded her of her years in solitude, with no one else to ease the lonliness. But this feeling of lonliness was also new, because when once she did not have friends to miss, she did now.

It was a good long year before she could convince her father to let her leave. When she booked the flight out, she made it one-way.

To Ikebukuro. To Shizuo.

* * * * *

“Hold still.” A sharp tug brought the sleeve up, the fibers slowly pulling away from a bloody gash on his forearm. The wound began to bleed again, rivlets of red running down eather side.

“See? It was fine until you did that, now it's bleeding again.” Shizuo's frown deepened as he chewed at the cigerette crammed in the corner of his mouth, unlit, because of Vorona's insistance that the smoke would obstruct her vision. The only reply he received was a quick glance up, violet eyes unchanged and unapologetic.

“It would have bled later, then. Must sterilize and bandage now. Before infection.” That said, she began pulling out the first aid supplies, recently purchased at the corner drug store, and set to work.

Upon Vorona's return to Ikebukuro, she had made good on her promise to Shizuo to talk, and at great length. After that, things fell quickly back into place, and she began her work as hired muscle with Shizuo and Tom at the debt collection agency. It had all gone back together so easily, the three of them working together, that it didn't feel as if any time had passed.

And things with Shizuo were, as usual, as chaotic as always, and today had been no exception when a frantic client had pulled a knife and managed to get a good swing in. His aim at been for Vorona herself, but Shizuo had blocked the blade with his arm, saving her from what could have been a severe cut to her face. A good blow to his head by the enraged blonde had ended things quickly, and without much more delay, they had made their way to the next client. Vorona would not have given the incident another thought if she hadn't noticed the growing stain on Shizuo's shirtsleeve, to which she then forced the startled man to sit on a bench and left to retrieve first aid supplies, laughter from Tom trailing after her. When she returned, Tom had left, and after asking where he had gone, had only gotten the reply of “back to the office”. He looked surly and slightly embarrassed, making her think that more had been said then what he told her.

The first order of business was cleaning the wound. Pulling out the bottle of rubbing alcohol, she took the cap between her teeth and twisted it off, then pressed a clean cloth to the opening and upending the bottle, soaking it. She pressed it quickly over the bleeding wound, earning a small hiss of pain and shock from her patient, but otherwise he remained quiet. Pressing it down with one hand, she reached over and grabbed his other hand and pressed it down over her own, looking up into his startled gaze.

“I need you to hold pressure.” When he gives her an affirmation, she slides her hand out from under his and reaches into the sack for the next item.

“You know, this really isn't necessary. I could just go see Shinra.” His complaint lacks any force behind it, and she can tell that there is no fight in him to resist the treatment. Opening the gauze and medical tape, she turns back and taps his hand.

“It was because you protected me that you were hurt. It is my obligation to take care of this. Now, pull hand back carefully.” He does as instructed, revealing a slightly cleaner gash now, with fresh drops of blood welling up. Quickly and efficiently, she presses the gauze pad over the length of the cut, holding her hand out for the cloth, which Shizuo hands back wordlessly, to which she then folds over and begins cleaning the blood off the skin around the gauze. When she is satisfied, she places the cloth aside and picks up the tape, holding the roll up to Shizuo.

“I require assistance. Please tear two strips off.” Again, wordlessly, he does as she asks, and she takes each piece and uses it to affix the gauze pad in place, and only then does she remove her hand from atop it. Taking the roll back, she then starts to wrap it around his arm, better securing it. When she finishes, she leans back and studies her handiwork.

“Not bad. If lucky, no infection. Check in day or two.” Shizuo takes his arm back, fishing in his pocket and bringing out his lighter, finally lighting the cig he'd been chewing on, inhaling and exhaling with something like a sigh. He watches her as she gathers up the bits of garbage and places them back in the sack for later discard, taking in the way the fading light is catching in the strands of her pale blonde hair, the smudges of his blood that mar her fingers and arms, standing out harshly against her skin. His gaze travels up to her face, noticing that at some point she must have scratched or rubbed at her cheek, because she has smears of his blood there too. Not giving it even a second thought, he leans in close and reaches up, running his thumb over the area, startling her.

“Sorry. You ah.. got some blood here...” Her hand comes up, fingers brushing briefly against his, and she feels warmth spread across her face. He withdraws his hand quickly and leans back, looking away, but she thinks she can see his face coloring, though it could be a trick of the light. Taking the cloth, she uses a clean corner to wipe the spot he's indicated, unsure if she's successful, but not wanting to break the silence that's fallen between them.

In the time since she'd been back, things had fallen perfectly back into place. She was feeling at home, comfortable in the day to day. Since seeing Shizuo again, she couldn't begin to describe how she felt towards him. Having him as her mentor made her happy, and the time they had working together was enjoyable, even on the worst of days. Lately, however, her thoughts had begun to shift, and her thoughts of Shizuo had started to morph, and on more than one occation, she couldn't look him in the eye for fear he could see those thoughts on display there in her eyes.

She had begun to suspect that maybe, it was love.

Love was not something she was experienced in. In fact, she had no experience at all with love. Her father had not shown her anything that she could relate to as an act or expression of love, and the concept was completely foreign to her even now. She couldn't state with any sort of conviction that this was what she felt. She wasn't sure if this was even an accurate word for what she felt. But she did know that the only time this feeling came over her... was with Shizuo.

“It's getting late. You want to grab some Russia Sushi?” Vorona is brought back from her thoughts, and Shizuo is standing now, flicking ash off his cig and looking down the street. Standing up, she finishes gathering up her things and moves to stand next to him, trying to catch a glimpse of his face in profile without being obvious.

“I have no appetite. I think I will return home.”

“Are you feeling alright? Do you want me to walk you home?” 

“Negative. I am fine. Tired, maybe. Will see you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah... Take care of yourself.” He flicks his cig to the ground and grounds it out under his shoe, turning and walking back towards the center of town and Russia Sushi. She absently waves at his back, knowing he isn't looking, but feeling like she needs to wave anyway, not knowing what to do otherwise. Part of her wishes he had insisted on walking her home. Then the rational part snaps back at her that she is not weak and does not require his protection. 

Turning on her heel, she begins to walk the opposite way, to the side of town where her small apartment awaits her, lost in thought the whole way back.

* * * * *

The walk home was uneventful. The local thugs had long since stopped trying to harass her, having been handed their asses on numerous occations. Being seen with Shizuo all over town had also helped her build a reputation for herself. There were few who dared approach her now.

A hot shower felt right, so she turned the heat up as high as she could stand it and stood under the spray, willing her mind to go blank and let her relax. The day had not been rough, or no rougher then what she was accustomed to, but she felt wrung-out all the same.

“Shizuo Heiwajima...” His name fell off her lips like a sigh, she was so used to saying it now, and sometimes in the dead of night it would come out sounding almost like a prayer. Her fingers grazed over her body, tracing over old scars, memories for each popping up as she remembered them. It was a practice she had started, to organize her thoughts. Putting a memory to the feel of raised scar tissue helped her focus. It was also a poor distraction technique, because as soon as her fingers traced upward and over her breasts, her thoughts would sharpen quickly into images of Shizuo, and those were thoughts she did not know how to handle.

She was not without experience in the realm of lust. That was something she understood. It was a basic human instinct, and she knew that it was normal to have those urges, but she would normally have a better grasp of them, a firmer control over them. Everything she knew about lust made sense, but when those feelings got mixed in with her thoughts of Shizuo...

“Ahh...” Like her hand had a mind of it's own, it had slipped down between her legs as soon as images of him came to her mind. Guilt spread over her like a shroud, and shame, because these thoughts made her feel filthy, and colored her memories of innocent time spent with him in a hazy light, making her want for less than innocent things. But these thoughts were hard to disipate, and would not leave her alone until she satisfied the itch they created.

So she let go of control. One hand smoothed over her hip, sliding up along her abdomen, and she imagined it was his hand instead. Her fingers grazed across a nipple, electing a sharp thrill at the feeling, while her other hand slowly rubbed around her clit in a tantalizingly slow, almost teasing way. She imagined it was his hands on her, rolling the hardened peak of her nipple between forefinger and thumb, pretended it was his fingers slowly rubbing inward, not quite penetrating, slowly coxing her further into need. It was his hand that left her hardened nipple to stroke up her neck and clench fingers into her hair, gently pulling her head back as the shower spray hit against her chest. It was his fingers that pressed into her, feeling her walls clench down, wrenching a groan out of her throat. It was his hands that drove her to the brink and made her creast, if only in her mind, as she struggled to regain her breath, leaning against the shower wall.

She had forced herself to finish quickly, to rush through. Because now that her body was sated, the inevitable guilt crawled back in to remind her how dirty she was to have done that. To have those thoughts about her Senpai, her mentor, her friend. The water was cooling off, so she turned the knob and stopped it, standing there and counting to ten before getting out and wrapping a towel around herself. She always gave herself a count of ten, to let the guilt hang over her head for those ten seconds, before pushing it away and moving on. It was not beneficial to let it rule her or take over her for longer than absoultely necessary. 

After she dried off and dressed for the night, she got a instant ramen cup from the cupboard and heated it in the microwave. The noodles were soggy and she mostly didn't taste any of it, as she sat gazing out the livingroom window.

She didn't know if what she felt for Shizuo was love... but she needed to find out.

**Author's Note:**

> Part one! Hopefully I'll get part 2 written soon to wrap things up.


End file.
